Having set our course upon a Ukraine adoption, Bon and I began plowing forward. We met some really great new friends in the beginning of this process. The listing is not in order of favorites because that would be impossible, but thanks to the Volf's, Roge's and Garrett's for providing valuable insight into the whole process. Between those three couples, America boasts 10 new Ukrainian/American kiddos! They have been invaluable so far and I am sure even more so in the future. You guys rock!!!
We first contacted an Agency, Adoption Alliance, and immediately got things going!! This process is tedious and I will not bore everyone with all of it. The coolest thing about it is the support we received from friends and family members. We never doubted God's direction but the support we received was an awesome reminder of His faithfulness.
We learned, through some friends, of two sisters in the Kherson region of Ukraine. After learning of them we felt a tug in that direction and they became the focal point or goal of our adoption journey. We just knew that these girls would someday be our children. We worked very hard, along with the foundation that had already been set (Thx Roges!), to get these girls on the central Ukrainian registry so that we would be able to adopt them. Ukraine law requires an orphan to be on the registry for 14 months before allowing international adoption. The hope being that Ukraine families would adopt Ukraine orphans. At this juncture, we had been assured the sisters had been placed on the registry and we were waiting out the 14 months...
During this process, we learned of a really cool organization called New Horizons for Children, newhorizonsforchildren.org . Twice a year, NHFC brings Ukrainian and Latvian orphans to the US for hosting trips. They last about 4-5 weeks and many children are adopted as a result of these trips. We tried very hard to get the Kherson sisters to the US on the summer host trip. There was an issue with the sisters paperwork and we were unable to make this happen. We were not deterred, we kept our heads down and continued forward with all our efforts to adopt them. We knew we would have a good chance of getting the girls here for the winter host trip; that kept us going. We entertained the idea of hosting another child but decided to save our money and keep our focus on the Kherson girls. God had other plans...
I have a good friend (my best friend) who once told me that God won't let us screw up an adoption. His school of thought is that God cares for the orphan so much (and He does!) that the right child or children would be made obvious. Center stage God, take it away...
Vera was on the NHFC summer hosting program listing. I can't say how many times I was drawn to her just from her bio and photo. She looked like a child full of mischief and that grin on her face that makes you think she knows some inside joke that you aren't privy to! I love those kind of kids! However, we had decided not to host, even though we had completed all of the training and applications required to do so (in the hopes of getting the Kherson sisters). NHFC Colorado Coordinator, and our new friend, Stephanie Norman, decided to host a child. Nobody had chosen Vera at this point and neither had Stephanie. She had picked another girl that ended up getting adopted prior to the host trip. This left Vera so Stephanie decided to host her for the summer in hopes of advocating for her and finding Vera a forever family. I was really excited that Stephanie had hosted Vera because she just looked like a neat kid.
A few days into the host program God decided to break Stephanie's foot. Sorry Steph but you said it yourself!!! We saw on Facebook that Stephanie was looking for someone to take Vera for a week as she was unable to do much with her. Stephanies lower leg and foot was booted and she was officially out of action! We called and Stephanie told us that she had another family in mind for Vera but had not heard back from them. We told her we would love to take Vera for the week and we were already qualified because we had done the lengthy application, the mandatory training and had a recently approved home study for our adoption process. We agreed to meet Stephanie, her awesome hubby John, and Vera at Boondocks. The plan being we would have some fun, meet Vera, and hopefully take her home for a week so Stephanie could recover.
When I saw Stephanie at Boondocks she was at the ticket counter with her back to us purchasing tickets for minigolf, go carts and bumper boats. There was a little child next to her, also with her back to us. The kid was about 4 and a 1/2 feet tall and looked about 9 years old from behind. It was Vera lol!! Vera is slightly vertically challenged!!She is actually 14 years old!! Anyhow, we had a fun filled day riding go carts, bumper boats, and playing games. When it came time for Vera to leave with us, Vera melted down. She had just met us and was scared for us "strangers" to take her away. She cried and cried in Stephanie's arms and I almost decided that we would not take her if she did not want to go with us. We certainly did not want to scare her or take her against her wishes!!! Luckily, a Ukrainian chaperone had accompanied Stephanie that day. Alex assured Vera that she would only stay with us for a few days and that she could call him anytime. Vera reluctantly agreed to go with us. We loaded her little suitcase full of everything she owned into the car and drove towards home. A journey that still continues...
The next few days were a God thing. The bond that formed between Vera and our family can only be described as a divine appointment. She was calling me, Pappi, and Bonnie, Mommy, within a few days. Our other children, Jonathon (16) and Katie (20) immediately fell in love with Vera! Vera decided that she wanted to stay with us for the remainder of the host trip. We talked to Stephanie and she was happy to allow this!! We were super excited and the days flew by much too fast. We got Vera on July 4th and she returned to Ukraine on August 1st. During that time we had more fun than should be allowed; zoos, mountains, camping, amusement parks, horse back riding and parties!! Even grocery shopping was a delight with Vera. She found delight in the littlest things that we all take for granted. During this time we learned that Vera had been in the orphanage since she was six years old, had no siblings and no clue where her mother was. She was truly alone in this world.
God had just introduced us to our new daughter. Against all odds Vera ended up in our home for over 4 weeks. We had no clue she was coming, and by human convention, she should not have even been in America, much less our home in America!!
The first couple of weeks we had Vera were an emotional struggle for Bonnie and I. We were still committed to adopting the Kherson sisters and now we were trying to figure out what in the world God was up to! We prayed continuously for clarity. God please, make it clear what You want! We are falling in love with Vera but what about the girls in Kherson?? About 2 weeks into Vera's stay, God gave us a very clear sign. The Kherson sisters, who we thought had been registered, had not been. Our Ukrainian facilitator told us he also had thought it was a done deal and had just learned that something ocurred that had stopped the legal proceedings of registering the sisters. He told us that they should "soon" be registered and he would let us know when that happened. We have learned that "soon" in Ukraine equates to anywhere between 4 months and 4 years. We knew that once "soon" happened, we would still have 14 months to wait before an international adoption could occur. This decided our course of action without a doubt. We actually had already committed to adopting Vera at this point and had just planned to also adopt the sisters when they were ready but God really made it clear that Vera was our ONLY focus at this point.
August 1st, the hardest day of my life. I am a cop and have seen my share of tragedy. Bad things happen to nice people sometimes. I know how to deal with other peoples issues better than my own. We load up into the car with Vera's now LARGE new suitcase and new backpack full of American loot and head to DIA. I am fighting tears the whole time knowing I could cry later. From the backseat I begin hearing sobs. I look in the rearview mirror. Vera has tears streaming down her face and is sobbing loudly and uncontrollably. She wants to stay here, in America, with us; we are her family now. Vera pulls it together as we get close to the airport. Bon and I get a gate pass and accompany Vera to the gate. We all hold it together until it is time to board. The boarding was very emotional as was watching her plane taxi down the runway... Bonnie and I cried more tears that day than we ever had. I remember listening to Casting Crowns "Praise You in This Storm" as the tears came and waves of despair rocked my soul. The storm was later followed by the peace only He gives us. I praised Him for what He had done by bringing Vera to us. However, the pain we felt at her departure with the uncertainty of the future was nearly more than we could bear. Praise You in This Storm just seemed so oddly appropriate, mournful yet full of hope! Thanks God for giving us comfort in our personal storms...
Since that day, we have worked very hard at making Vera our forever daughter. Everything appears to be going smoothly at this time. We should be able to bring her home forever in April 2012. We are bringing her back in December through NHFC's winter hosting trip. We are so grateful that the wait will be broken in half by the 4 week winter trip.
We talk to Vera at least once a week and text her multiple times daily. She is very excited to come back in December and "forever in April" as she says it!
Praise God!!!!
The McKinneys
